Free As A Bee: Life Of A Globetrotting Bee

You try christening one thousand five hundred to three thousand potential children in one day and finding a glamorous name for each of them! I'm not making excuses, but I want to explain why my mother, the queen bee, who has to look after all her eggs, decided that I should only be called... Mary. Nothing against Marys, not at all. In fact, my dears who bear this name, don't immediately start running your fingers over the keyboard to flood me with protests. What I meant was that I would have liked something that tasted less like holy water and more like a gin and tonic, do we understand each other? Not bad. If my mother is otherwise engaged, a rock name I give myself: Angie. Angie as in the Rolling Stones song: 'Oh,your kisses still taste sweet', you know? Oh, your kisses still taste sweet! Sweet as honey, of course..

Or Angie as Angelina Jolie. I love her! Unique, beautiful, brave, green eyes like the meadows where I find flowers to suck the nectar from. I have already decided that as soon as I come of age, in twenty minutes and fifteen seconds, I will get a tattoo just like the one Angelina has on her arm, because I admit it, the brown fur we bees wear is banal, after a while it gets tired, it's not fashionable. The wasps, on the other hand, the grimacing ones, at least they can quote optical fashion and decline it in yellow and black. How they show off! They feel more beautiful than us bees just because they have an enviable figure, the famous wasp 'waist', as if sex appeal depended on thinness, when everyone knows that a bit of flesh in the right places never displeases anyone!

My B-side may not be supermodel, but when I take a selfie of myself it's better than Elettra Lamborghini's, word of that drone who saw me one night at a frog rave and just because I was being funny, he'd put who knows what in his head. I had to put him in his place, stinging him like I was a wasp. I know, you often confuse us with them, and that's not nice at all. Bees are meek and peaceful beings, peace and love. We never sting you, except for very good reasons, like defending the hive. We have a sense of community, even though I, Angie, worker bee, am unique in my kind. I want to bring out my true self and I have no intention of ending up on the psychoanalyst's couch, in identity crisis, confused among a thousand decent but boring sisters.

My 50 days of life I want to live it big, mediocrity is not for me. Meanwhile, I have decided to be a career bee: no children and no babysitting of larvae. I don't want to waste my precious time between cells, bottles of royal jelly, pollen and honey. More than a choice, mine is actually a destiny: the queen bee can lay the eggs, only she is fertile. I, on the other hand, have to go out there and work my butt off, amidst a thousand dangers, to ensure my survival and yours. I am a queen inside, a warrior queen. Also a bit of a hippie, always on the road. I'd love to buy myself one of those Volkswagen vans all colourful, music, and on the road!

We bees in a single hive travel 30,000 kilometres to collect nectar, the equivalent area of 4,000 football fields. Speaking of travelling, I'm off now. I have to meet a journalist to be interviewed. I hope she doesn't insist too much on gossip. I don't need to mention the last drone I went out with drinking arbutus nectar to get people talking about me. Where do you live? In 3Bee's hive! Adopt me! - Right or Left? Pollinators Anonymous. - Favourite flower? Sunflower. - Coffee or tea? Irish coffee. A touch of whisky goes with it. - Housewife or Explorer? Explorer! What a question. I hate closed environments. I love the outdoors, discovering new things. Dreaming, above all. Real life is for those who don't know any better - I heard that line in a movie and it sounds cool. Trump or Obama? I don't like to comment on politics, it's not chic. Definitely, I'm for ecologists and I despise sexists. Would I prick them? I'm not dumb! It's not worth it.

- Wine or Beer: Mead and occasionally I steal royal jelly. - Siblings? About 48,000 sisters and 10,000 brothers. In alphabetical order Alba, Alcide, Amanda... just kidding! - What makes you happy? Flying up to the sun with my five eyes closed, and when I get tired, dropping down on a soft, fluffy daisy and going off on my mental trips. - What makes you sad? The machines, the pesticides, the pests, the increasingly absurd temperatures, the increasingly difficult winters, the war with the wasps, the honey thieves, the winters that are too cold, the summers that are too harsh, the rainy springs, the famine. But above all, the queen's sourness. Favourite singer? Would you expect me to answer: the theme song of the Maia Bee? Noo! I love Black Honey, of course! It's an Indie band from the UK scene, I recommend you listen to their All my pride and tell me if you can sit still. Are you engaged? I'm too young, let me live my experiences.